(1×78’)

Festival, Cinema & SVOD

First time filmmaker follows his girlfriend and boss chase their dream as musicians. His insecurities flair while struggling to find a story, and begins challenging their flaws, on camera, jeopardising the film, relationships and careers.

This is the third film in a trilogy of self portraits, preceded by award winning ‘The Ungrateful Australian’ and ‘grace’. Filmed when Thomas was 27 years old and two years clean from marijuana addiction, the film went from a frivolous exploration of the creative process to a deep, and at times hilarious examination of the emotional experience of trying to pursue one’s true passion and the impact this can have if done without boundaries, empathy or sensitivity toward those directly affected.

This searingly honest documentary played to audiences at Cinequest Film Festival, The East End Film Festival and Australia’s premiere music event, Splendour in the Grass in 2015 before a limited cinema release in Australia and the UK where Total Film magazine awarded the film FOUR STARS.

DIRECTORS STATEMENT: ‘Creating a film centered on my own story posed challenges in maintaining perspective, leading to missing context. Although the film wasn’t meant to be about me, the material and my role in the fallout made my journey central. During filming, I was two years into a tough self-examination required for recovery from marijuana addiction. Tony and Amanda joined to create a truly honest film, and I approached their stories with the same intensity I applied to mine. However, my perfectionism and fear of failure—stemming from trauma that fueled my addiction—led me to judge rather than empathize. The pain this caused them left me editing three years later from a place of guilt and self-loathing, which shaped the final product.

The film reveals my worst side intentionally, but I failed to include any redemptive moments, feeling I didn’t deserve it. I hoped that raw honesty and humor would connect with audiences, but this was naive, and some saw it as self-centered. My goal was to explore this universal struggle with honesty, making it safe for others to discuss. While the film’s flaws risk misunderstanding, I’m proud of its craftsmanship and honesty. If viewers look past these flaws, it can offer a powerful reflection on honesty and ambition in ourselves and our closest relationships.